Christmas!!! (eve)

Just finished watching the Muppets Christmas Carol. It's officially Christmas!

Strictly Final

How can we choose? Really? All three couples (and Dani who's already out :( ) are fabulous so how can we decide who should win? Louis' showdance was amazing though. O_o

Well, I'm Still Here...

8am on Friday the 21st December 2012 and so far the world has not ended. Was there a specific time we should be looking out for or should I just keep an eye out all day?

Just Like Buses

I have been out of university for about three years now and for most of that time I found it really hard to get any job interviews but in the last couple of months I have had more interviews than in the two years before that combined. And now I have received a request for a second interview with a major pharmaceutical research company with a job that looks amazingly awesome and it almost feels kind of dreamlike. Like this couldn't be happening to me, shouldn't be happening to me, but I'm also so excited that my stomach flutters every time I think about it and I feel all giggly and almost light-headed.

I just really hope I don't fuck this up.

Later!

Red Tails and Festive Cheer

A couple of days ago we watched Red Tails on Sky boxoffice (after a bit of trouble with our box, shout-out to Joseph from Sky who helped us out!) and it was really awesome. Looking at the challenges black pilots faced while trying to fight for their country in world war 2 and how they overcame them it's a inspirational story. I give this 4/5, it's a good film that I would recommend watching but until the end (when one of them looks to be settling in Italy) none of the main characters seemed to be in any danger which for an action film means something is lacking.

In other news we have our Christmas decorations up! Tree in the corner and lights strung from every picture frame. Roxy even got into the mood by wearing this festive hat.

Awwwwwwwww...

She may not have actually liked wearing the hat though, as after this picture she promptly pulled it off and tried to eat it.

Grrr!

Later!

It's Beginning To Feel A Lot Like...

Does it seem like Christmas is starting earlier every year to anyone else? We started hearing Christmas songs on the work radio a couple of weeks ago (before Thanksgiving! - even if we don't celebrate it here in the UK) and I've already bought and wrapped most of my presents for people this year.

Not that I'm complaining actually. I love Christmas. I love Christmas songs, I love planning what to do on Christmas day, I love the anticipation, I don't love wrapping, but the sight of a pile of pretty wrapped presents produces is awesome at any time of year (even if they aren't for me). I'm glad I've got everything ready, everyone has decided what they want early and I've got it and I spent today wrapping, listening to Christmas songs.

With handmade labels and everything!

So I'm feeling pretty Christmassy already and I don't really mind. What about you?

Later!

Guisers Breath a Sigh of Relief

Halloween again and the costumes come out. We've been allowed to dress up at work for the last couple of days and I've practically been working on my costume since last year. What did I dress up as? Dr Horrible... Well, if you can't cosplay at Halloween then when can you? It's not exactly right but I'm still pretty proud of it.

I have a PHD in Horribleness!!!

SQUEEEEEE!

So, Christmas is going to be awesome this year...

All The Feels

Just watched War Horse, the movie adaptation of the book of the same name. Mum and Dad had gone to see the theatre production in London at the beginning of the year so I kind of knew what to expect but wow, that was great... It was better than great, it was amazing! The animal actors were above approach and the lighting and everything, wow.

5/5 go see it, planning on seeing the theatre production some time soon.

Later!

Someone's Not Mining Properly

Someone must be so mad right now

So I'm playing on minecraft, in Nerdcrafteria and the Mineworld (which is suddenly called Minington) is pretty much a lacy doily of rock over the bed rock and I manage to dig stairs down and find diamond, just a couple of blocks away from someone else's mine. If whoever dug that mine knew that they would be so mad right now. Though they probably found other diamonds anyway... Just awaiting the reset of Minington so I can find more myself.

Later.

Define An Orphan

How old can you be and still be able to refer to yourself as an orphan when your parents die? I ask because if there is no time limit then both my parents are now officially orphans. It was almost three weeks ago when I told you that my gran probably didn't have time left and she battled harder than any of us could have believed, but we knew that this would come sooner rather than later. Last night my parents came back from holiday and straight to her bedside. This morning, about 20 minutes ago, I received a message from my mother to say she was now at peace.

There's a hole in my insides and a tightness in my chest. I know that time heals, having experienced it before, but for now the hole whistles cold and lonely and the tightness makes it hard to breath.

Strange

That weird moment when you wonder if the clock's stopped then realise it hasn't because it's not flashing.

Make It Bleed

Usually a sight like this would horrify me. Who would do that to a poor defenceless book? But, this is my book and editing it like this is very satisfying. Rather than doing it on the computer and not having this visual representation of how far I've gone and how much I've changed this keeps me working on it and just feels so much more right (righter?). Like this is the proper way to edit a book and trying to do it on the computer is just kidding myself.

And I'm trying really hard not to kid myself. I don't want to have to edit this any more times than I have to so I'm going to make it bleed (some people think once should be enough and any more means you're dragging your heels). Be ruthless, that's the only way to prepare it for the real world and, if you do it properly, it should reward you.

Back to editing. Later!

Nerdcrafteria

Nerdfighters now have a dedicated minecraft server! Yay! It's made of awesome (as you would expect from a nerdfighter server) but there is one problem. There are about 2200 nerdfighters that have logged on to Nerdcrafteria but only 120 spaces. That means that trying to get on can be a bit of a challenge sometimes, but it is totally worth it.

Nerdcrafteria is split into four sections. Nerdcrafteria proper is where you can buy a plot to build a house and is where the store is to buy items. The nether is just the same as usual but also serves as a PvP arena, and then there are mineworld and creativeworld. Mineworld is where all materials come from (except from the store in Nerdcrafteria) and it gets reset about once a month, so anything built here will not last. Creativeworld is for if you want time out from mining to let your imagination free. You get allocated a plot and can build anything you want there. This area is also used for competitions.

The in game currency are called Llamas and Crias with 100 Crias to a llama. You can collect money by mining and selling products or by killing monsters, which is the fastest way. Each monster gives between 30 and 50 llamas so in a single night it's very easy to make over 1000 llamas. This is useful as a plot of land starts from 8000 llamas (with ocassional plots at 5000) and the bigger, more dedirable plots are even more. Without a plot of land it's very hard to get anything done and locking a chest costs 1000 llamas (chests on your plot are automatically locked). There is a place in town where you can store some items in an enderchest (which are "client side" so you can only see your items) but that only helps for so long and you are best to save for a plot as soon as you can. If you really don't have enough then move far enough away from spawn and you can build without a plot, but chests will still need to be locked.

In town you take no damage and monsters don't spawn but in mineworld the server is on easy mode, this means you can die. If you die a "deathpile" is deployed (a chest with all your items and a sign saying it's yours) but I don't think these are locked so other people can open them and there's no easy way to find it again. It's not like technic where a waypoint is placed as well.

This is a great server with great players and I'm off to try and get on again.

Later!

Probably Not Long...

My gran had just started radiotherapy treatment last week, not to cure, because it is incurable, but to help with her breathing somewhat. She was meant to have another batch to day but last night she went seriously downhill. My aunt and uncle (who live closer to her) took her to hospital and it turns out that one of her lungs has collapsed and she has an infection in the other. She's finding it really hard to catch her breath and it looks like... it looks like she might not have much time left. They are trying to make her comfortable but there's not much they can do. Mum and Dad have gone to the hospital to see her. I can't imagine what Dad is feeling right now, she is his mother. We definitely never expected it to be this fast, it's quite a shock.

You might not want to hear this, might be telling me right now that I shouldn't be using this blog as some kind of diary but it helps. I can send all these thoughts and feelings out into the ether and it feels like someone, anyone, is listening and understanding. Someone to share everything with.

Judging a book by its cover

You know what I've just realised? It really bugs me that books are catagorised by the age of the main character. Books that are "young adult" can be just as hard hitting, just as well written and have themes that are just as adult as any other book. To that end I would urge any of you out there to not judge a book by it's catagory, by it's genre. You might be missing out.

Any great books you've read lately?

Later!

What Else Have I Been Missing?

Tonight I finally got around to reading The Knife of Never Letting Go by Patrick Ness. Good god! Why did it take me so long to finally pick it up? It makes me wonder what other great books are out there that I just haven't found yet. Excuse me while I go buy the rest of the series.

Later!

Remember Me

So, I finally got around to watching Breaking Dawn Part One yesterday and the acting is actually worse than I remember the first three films being and don't get me started on the CGI. But I was thinking, yes Kristen Stewart is BAD (I mean, the girl can't pull an expression to save herself) but the rest were only really pulled down by the material (not that I didn't enjoy the books). Robert Pattinson was brilliant in Water For Elephants for example (great film and NaNoWriMo novel!) and I remembered that I had seen another of his films, Remember Me, for 99p in the google play store. So I bought it and watched it tonight.

The tears are still streaming down my face as I type this. This would be a really great film even without the ending, but. That. Ending! You never see it coming, at least I didn't. I kind of felt that everything would come crashing down (atmospheric music maybe?) but never in a million years would I have guessed it would be like that. As soon as it showed the blackboard there was a moment of shock and then a constant stream of "Oh shit"s.

Wow. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. Wow.

Mind blow.

Should I?

It might be a small problem in relation with the rest of the world's problems but it's something that is on my mind. I recently started getting food boxes from graze.com. It's like dried fruit and  flapjacks and other yummy stuff delivered straight to your door and so far everything has been really good. My quandary is they gave me a code to give to friends and other people so they can get a free first box (i'll post it at the end) and I'm seriously considering setting up another account just so I can get a free box. Would that be really wrong? I'm quite happy paying for boxes as they are so good but this temptation of a free box is just really... tempting. I just don't know anymore.

Anyway, here's the code for those of you out there that want to try a box for free! Just type this in where it asks you at graze.com and enjoy!: NZ7GWHXF

Still wondering if this would make me a bad person...

It's Here!

I've finally received The War For Banks Island my P4A donation reward from December last year! Thanks John!!

A Dark Night

So, I went to see Batman: Dark Knight Rises on Wednesday (yes I meant to blog earlier but life got in the way, and by life I mean minecraft) and it was awesome! I mean seriously epic. There was laughter, there were tears and I giggled like a little girl when Batman finally appeared because you know It's about to go down. There was some referencing back to the previous films so I would recommend seeing them first if you haven't but do it quickly so you can see this at the cinema. Maybe go see it twice so you can saviour those things you missed first time around due to the shear awesomness of this film. 5/5, definatey.

Some sad news. I talked a couple of posts ago about my gran and we now have confirmation that It's definitely cancer. Lung cancer. We don't have a time frame just yet but there's not much that can be done, mostly palliative care, maybe some chaemo if it might help. Gran herself can't remember (begining Alzheimer's) so we've decided not to keep telling her and let her get on with her life.

Later.

Finished!

Today I finally got around to making my finishing (or Hanko) stamp for ZeFrank. Rather than just giving you a pic of the finished result, lets go through the steps shall we?

Step One: Gather materials

What I used. YMMV.

Of course, that means scrabble for ages for an eraser, then for a ruler and when you finally find the ruler find another eraser that will actually work better than the one you originally found.

Step Two: Choose design

 

My four designs (Taekwondodo, Ninja Panda, Rambo Panda and Dodo)

This is by far the hardest part. You have to find something that reflects you, fits on a 1inch by 1inch square and that isn't too detailed. I started with my avatar that I use everywhere, a taekwondodo, but then found that although I did draw my own avatar in paint I can't draw it freehand. It was probably too complex anyway. Second was a Rambo Panda, which I use as my skin in Minecraft, looked OK but no way of telling that it's a RAMBO Panda. Third was Ninja Panda, which looked OK and would be good with the one colour and last was a dodo, for my nickname but I decided that it would be too hard to carve out of the eraser easily so ninja panda it was.

Step Three: Cut eraser to size

A surprise production of Titanic, performed using stationary

Step Four: Draw design on eraser

Even worse than the first drawing

Step Five: Start carving

Adult assistance should be sought at this point

Using the pair of compasses I scored along the lines and dug out all of the white space that I didn't want, leaving the black behind.

Step Six: Try stamping

No ink pad? Try making your own!

I don't own an ink pad so I tried stamping with watercolour paint I had lying around but it didn't work all that well as the paint was just too wet and collected between the lines, causing smudging.

Maybe not watercolour...

 So then I tried a marker (not a sharpie, it dries too quick) and got a really good impression so here's my finished finishing stamp!

Aww... Adorable ninja panda!

Why not have a go at making your own? It's really not as hard as it looks and you don't even need any fancy equipment.

Later!

Forced To Consider Mortality

It's strange when you go to visit relatives, especially those you haven't seen for a while and suddenly notice how old they're getting. It's something that doesn't really happen with those you spend all your time with (although I do see it occasionally with my parents) but for people you only see every so often it can be like only a moment ago they were old in age but still vital and young in spirit but now they're OLD. All saggy skinned and so tired looking. It just kind of brings it home, you know?

Later.

Well, It's Certainly Over The Quickest

It's the most anticipated race of the Olympics but blink and you're likely to miss it. The 100 meters final has just been run and once again Usain Bolt has beaten all contenders to finish first.

It's funny, I wasn't really psyched about the Olympics before it started, but now (especially after winning some medals) I'm quite enjoying it. The only problem is that it forces me to spend more time in the same room as my dad where he will randomly ask me what I am planning to do with my life. An awkward conversation if ever there was one, mostly because I have no fricking idea.

Just now I'm spending most of my time playing Minecraft and watching Zefrank videos. I've recently downloaded the technic pack for Minecraft (as the group my brother plays with didn't want any help, stupid boys) and am doing really well except I don't know what to build. I've got two quarries and go mining with a destruction catalyst but I've not got anything to do with all the items I'm collecting. I've got macerators and furnaces all powered by solar energy and nothing to do with them. I was going to do a vlog when I first downloaded technic but my laptop's not powerful enough to run both minecraft and fraps, and if I was vlogging then I could ask my audience (surely someone would watch them, minecraft is popular) but as I can't I'll ask you instead. If there is anyone out there, what should I build in minecraft using the technic pack? I'll upload pics here if you want me to and let you know how it's getting on. Maybe not as exciting as a minecraft vlog but until I get a better computer it's the best I can do.

No further word about my gran yet.

Later.

Sad News

I just found out today that my last surviving grandparent may have lung cancer. It's kind of a weird feeling. I want to cry, I want to bury my head in the sand until we find out for certain, I think mostly I want to hug someone. This morning I told my mum I loved her for belated Esther Day and now it looks like my gran might be dying (well we're all dying but nothing brings it home quite like "cancer"). It's a weird, weird world. And quite a sad one as well.

I really need that hug...

Awesome Or What?

This may not be a book you recognize, that will probably be because this is a proof copy of my very own novel (the one I was talking about a couple of posts ago, the really short one). It may not be very long, the story might not be the best ever thought up and there are probably reams of clunky prose but still it's mine and I can't help but squee every time I look at it.

One step closer to becoming a published author and already it feels like it's not such an out there idea after all.

Later!

Great Day Out

Hello! I know I haven't posted in a while but I did warn you about that when I started this blog. Anyway, Portugal was awesome as usual (barring ocassional bouts of depressive thinking) but I think I'm done with going away with my parents on holiday. I'm thinking of Barcelona next year maybe, I hear it's good.

So today was the Dunbar Lifeboat day and we went along to have a look. We had donuts and candyfloss and alcohol. I won a can of coke at tombola which mum dropped and burst but then when we passed the stall again I won a bottle of wine that more than made up for it ;p. There were birds of prey and I had a go at archery! Which is, basically, awesome! I had five arrows and managed to hit the bullseye three times! Unfortunately I don't have a pic of me looking epic as I pull the string back before letting the arrow fly straight and true towards its target as mum was too busy making sure she didn't drop my bottle of wine and I forgot to say before I finished. :( Oh well, I won a water bottle for getting three in the centre anyway.

In other news I've finally got a new phone! It is an htc desire c for £10 a month and it's what I am typing this blog on right now, which is a vast improvement on my old phone which couldn't even load blogspot. Anyway, I'll leave you for now, we're having a barbecue tonight and I have to go put this bottle of wine in the fridge.

Later!

I Think My Novel Has A Napoleon Complex

Good news! I finally finished the first draft of the novel that I wrote for NaNoWriMo!
*Party blower solo*

Bad news? It's actually more like a novella than a novel. Now I've edited it, it doesn't even have 50,000 words any more...

I was spurred into finishing it by the promise of free copies from Create Space which I'm not going to go for now as it would involve actually publishing it through Create Space so I just bought a couple of proof copies and said to hell with it. I'm hopeful that once I've had a look through it properly I'll be able to extend the story somewhat so it's an actual novel. Or I could just bang my forehead on the keyboard a couple of times and call it a day. That's a valid idea, right?

The Blog With No Name

Or no purpose at least.

I really have no idea what to write. It's the same reason I can't keep penpals because I am SO FRICKING BORING that nothing happens to me and I have nothing to talk about! Let's see what I've done this week.

Monday: 


Actually strike that, I'm bored just thinking about it, and it's only Wednesday anyway. So what's happening with me instead.

Well my little brother finally convinced me to get a new phone. I'm fine with the one I have, it works like I want it to and does pretty much everything I want but he convinced me with the price, £16 a month. That is until he said I needed insurance. At an extra £11.99 a month.

£12 a month for insurance?! I didn't spend that on insurance for my holiday this year (which we will come to in a second)!!

So he says, it's OK, he can get a discount because he works there, but they don't have the phone in so I'll have to get it online. We go ahead but then he's not sure if he can get his discount online. Basically I don't know if I'm getting this phone or not after all this hassle.


So holidays, yeah I'm going away in two weeks!! YAY!!!! Brothers will be house sitting (because they have no money to go away themselves, ha!) and me and mum and dad will be spending two weeks in sunny Portugal! I just can't wait!

Huh, seems I did have something to talk about after all, go figure. Anyway, I've got work in the morning so I'll leave you there.

Later!

Happy Birthday To Me?

So, today I'm officially a quarter of a century old! 25 years, wow. Yay me? Let's see where I've got to at this important milestone of my life.

Well, I'm still living in my parents home... but that's fine, not many people can afford to move out of their parent's houses like they used to.

I work at Asda... but as I said above, the economy's crap at the moment and I did have an interview last week.

I've written a book!... but it's not actually totally finished yet and if I don't get off my butt and actually start to finish it then it'll just sit on my laptop forever.

I know it's not as bad as some people, there are definitely those worse off than me, but sometimes I just wish I would get off my fat arse and actually do something with my life.

Also, I CAN'T SEEM TO TYPE PROPERLY TONIGHT!!!!111!!!! FARKING SPELLING!!! snajkrk,mewjnrfas,jrkhekwu

;P

Back To The Drawing Board

Sigh...

So I said in my last blog post that I might have a new job soon? Turns out it's not to be. I received a standard rejection email today saying that "after careful consideration" they will not be hiring me after all. Damn...

Don't Leave Us This Way

Hey, so I'm back again (not that I'm aware that anyone follows this blog, updates being rather patchy after NaPoWriMo finished) and I'm here to catch you up on what's been happening.

Firstly, in reference to the title, season finale of Grey's Anatomy season eight. I will try to avoid spoilers.

OH MY GOD!!

So totally called it in the penultimate episode where Hunt was wiping the names off the board. But seriously! Finale episode was so heart rending, it still doesn't feel like she's really left, maybe it's not sunk in yet properly. And her in the hospital? How many people are going to be left for the new season? I hear it's running down so maybe that's why, they were all getting ready to go to new hospitals anyway. Why do all the good programmes have to end?

Secondly, The Avengers.

If you haven't seen it GO SEE IT NOW! The dialogue is brilliant, it's utterly hilarious in quite a high number of parts and surprisingly heart rending in one which I definitely will not spoil but I hadn't heard anything about it and oh god, no! But, seriously, kids will love it adults will love it, it'll have you rolling in the aisles and might even make you shed a tear. Excellent all rounder, 9/10.

In personal life, my brother tried to "fix" our broadband and ended up leaving us without internet access for nearly a week and I had a job interview on Tuesday! I might finally leave ASDA! (not that it's bad working there, just not what I really want to do) Fingers crossed!!

Later!

Why Am I So Stupid Sometimes?

Aaaaaargh!!

So I was up the high street this morning and in a small book store I saw a copy of Looking For Alaska. I was pleased to see this book but then moved on my way. I only remembered about nerdfighter notes a couple of moments ago! I could have left a note, there might even have been a note in there already but I DIDN'T CHECK! Wondering if I should write a note now and go back...

All Right Now

Back again feeling much better this time!

So I just had a look at my NaNo novel again and the foremost thought in my head was "This is crap". I'm not entirely downhearted though as when I first started to edit it I thought exactly the same thing. It seems my brain loves nothing more than to put me down but I won't let it stop me and I'll continue editing until I have a first draft. That'll show it.

It Would Be Nice If I Could Breath

Yeah, so that would be nice. And maybe a brand of tissue that didn't scrape the skin from underneath my nose, seriously.

This time I'm just sick

Uuuuurgh! I have a cold! (Tiny chicken disease for those in the know) Kinda hard to be "Happy to Help" when it feels like your drowning in mucus and your nose could really do with a couple of corks. Anyway, brain not really functioning properly, just came to whine. I'll go now.

The only reason everything is spelled correctly is because of the red squiggly lines that appear under them if I get them wrong. Grammar, on the other hand, does that thing that... never mind...

I said I'm sick and tired of winter, And I wish that it was spring

So, first of May people! (the lyrics in the title come from Jonathan Coulton's First of May) I may have missed yesterday's poem but I had already written an "I Remember" poem and, really, I don't care. So there.

As I was walking along the street this afternoon I was thinking about what a Youtube vlogger I follow has said about using the word "guys" to refer to their viewers. They mentioned that they worried that girls would not be fine with being called guys, but I think it doesn't matter any more. "Guys" may have once solely referred to people of the male gender but words change and I think there are two meanings now. 1) Men and 2) a group of people, usually friends. This second meaning is probably the one that is most used now and I, as a girl, have no ill feelings towards the use of the word guys.

Actually, now I've written this I think he might have been talking about "dudes" rather than "guys"... Still, same argument applies.

On Call

Waiting for the phone to ring
Watching on-line videos and jumping
At every noise
One eye is always on the mobile screen
Whatever else I'm doing
Every nerve on high alert
Though I'm fighting sleep
Both excited and terrified
By the prospect of a phone call


So, I'm a First Responder and this is pretty much what it feels like whenever I'm on call. Just sitting, waiting for the phone to ring...

Waiting...

Staring at the phone...

Both daring it to ring and hoping it doesn't...

Waiting...

Memories of Space

What does space remember?
I remember when all this was fields
Of darkness
Nothing as far as the eye could see which, 
As both eyes and distance did not exist yet
Was not far


I remember a beginning
The end of nothing
And the birth of everything else
In a great pulsing labour
Spreading matter
And creating the universe


I remember, back in the day
When everything was young
And new
And fresh.
They grow up so fast


I remember when you first came to visit
And the way everything still seemed so new
And exciting
To your eyes


I remember the ideas you had
Most of which were best forgotten
But the rest
Were the searing novas to rival those
That birthed you


I remember love
I remember fighting
But, in the end, without a voice
I remember nothing


Prompt: Write a poem of space.


Originally the prompt was meant to refer to the space, say in a room, but why not write about space as in outer? :D

Summer Swift

A flying scythe
In summer skies
Black speck above


It flits, it swoops
On air it floats
The sky it loves


It screams defiance
In the blue
Black speck above


Nothing could tie it
To the ground
The sky it loves


A flying scythe
Black speck above
The sky it loves.


Saw my first swallow of this year today. Apart from geese flying overhead twice a year swallows and swifts are  my indicator birds for the changing of the seasons. It's nice to see them back again.

Elegy To The BMW

You carried us around
For a couple years
But now your time is over


Safely we were carted
Cradled in your insides
Encased in steel


Your under seat heating
Kept us warm
Even in the coldest weather


And though you had nothing wrong
You weren't right for us
We had to let you go


I'm sorry
We've got a Honda CRV now
And we are really happy.


We got a new car!!!! A Honda CRV and it's really awesome. Still have to read the book to find out how to use the sat nav and stuff properly but much happier with this now. The BMW was really low and a pain to get in and out sometimes. We had a landrover before and the CRV has better fuel economy while still having the 4x4 capabilities. And so many hidey-holes! And the back seats can recline!

Love Cento

What is love?

This terrifying miracle

You’d better run away fast.

As we wait for it to make sense.

The travel’s hard but still keep going strong

And bright as molten copper

As if it doesn't happen indefinitely

But flowers are blooming

Hands stretched to give.

It pulls me in

Fire singed I dragged I filled

And I sigh and close my eyes

I've just misplaced the world. 

She saves us going astray

Everything we have worked for

I do

Go deeper still till nothing left but thought

And you’re done.

Forget don’t and can’t, those heavy words

Though not unexpected

The world would not be shattered.

Eyes fixed

Inspiration was coming my way

Where nothing is quite what it may seem

But one with much fascination

And that is not to be missed

Prompt: Write a cento. A poem made up entirely of lines from other poems. 

All these lines come from my NaPo poems from last year. Hopefully it actually makes sense. It's not actually 30 lines long because I missed days last year, but anyway.

Sick

To think that
I was raring to go
On the 1st
When now
Only 23 days later
I'm sick of this whole
Poetry thing
(Although
That may 
Be partly due
To this headache
Pounding away
Behind my eyes)
I wrote a whole book
I think
In 30 days
And yet
I cannot write 30 poems
In the same time frame.

Procrastination

I'm meant to be writing a poem
But procrastinating is easier
Building in Minecraft
Placing block
After block
Mind growing numb

Bag

My
Bag squeaks
On my shoulder


Careful
Adjustment and
Bag still squeaks


Consider 
Throwing bag
Down on ground


Screaming
To air
And at bag


But
No. I
Don't do that


Instead
Adjust again
Bag stops squeaking!


Yay!
Now can
Walk in peace.


Prompt: Write a hay(na)ku.

True story that.

Train Journey

Waiting for the train
The day sunnier than it has any right to be 
Busy train 
The buzz of someone else's music 
How can they stand it that loud? 
High banks of grass 
So all that you can see is the sky 
Roads snaking beside 
And under 
The track 
Racing cars to their destination 
Murmur of voices 
Excited children 
And the sky slowly turning grey 
Small villages and golden fields 
Whiz past 
In tunnels I stare at my reflection 
And reflect 
Until the sun returns and has me squinting 
Travelling on 
Followed by flying wires 
And crawling roads.

 Sitting in a bar with my family drinking Cosmo's. Life is good!
EDIT: Used my brother's iphone to upload at first which was shy the format was screwed. Fixed now!

Drop

A 

drop 

falls from

 the sky. Sus-

pended for a mom-

ent from the tip of a leaf,

it hangs motionless before

letting go and continuing

to the ground far 

below.

Surprisingly pleased at how this poem has turned out.

Deceit

The only freedom is truth
But lies come so easily
Fear pulling us down
Fear of rejection
Of punishment
It drones in our ears
Drowning out reality
The sound of our anxiety
The only thing we listen to
Why do lies trip so freely off our tongues
While we choke on what is real?
Spiralling into the echoing depths
Darkness of our own creation

Lullaby

Sun has gone
Flown ahead
Lay down and rest your weary head


'Til the light
Hits the pane
Telling you it's day again

Miles Away

And the radio plays "Paradise"
But we aren't listening
It's merely the background to this World War
In it's locality
Striking with whispers
To keep an open-secret closed
And public knowledge under-wraps
We're standing so close together
But you feel miles away.

Diamonds

A hundred thousand diamonds
Sprinkled in the water at our feet
All I would give to you


There is no more we need
No more that we could ever want
Than this


I've not really been doing a blog any more have I? I've just really been uploading a poem and leaving it at that. Probably because by the time I've actually written a poem it's pretty late. I procrastinate...

Love Sonnet

Most famous sonnets tell about the love
Their authors felt for someone that they knew
Wax lyrical, their beauty undreamed of
Their lips, their eyes, their hair heaven to view


Some, they do not speak about perfection
Their love is only human, with the faults
But they feel an unrivalled connection
And in their love's proximity exalts


The first sight seared the eye and stole the air
From lungs, whether perfect or with flaws
They felt as if their soul had been laid bare
When initial time their love they saw


But me, I cannot write about such things
Because I lack a love of which to sing

Phoenix Burn

Rising from the ashes of despair
Love is a phoenix burn
The pain of new beginnings and the end
Of all you knew.
It is a bitter-sweet sensation, born again
With a new world in your heart
And the old one lost to cinders

Recycle

I thought about recycling
But then I remembered
That is not the point of this exercise
And anyway
I did that on Tuesday.

Sometimes my brain just doesn't want to work and create a poem. It's funny because I spent today writing snippets from a new story I'm starting to come up with and now, when I sit to write a poem, it decides to freeze up on me.

DDR

Dancing by himself
One hundred and eighty three perfects
How did he do that?


A haiku about this video. Go check it out.

Dive In

The boat bobs as we sit at rest
Salty splashes wetting faces
Warm sun beats down on us
Ready to go
Tank a dead wait pulling, pulling
"Remember" He says.
"Remember your buddy."
Final check,
Mask, reg, weights
Then
Go
Rush of air and water
Bubbles roar as the world tips then rights itself
Darth vader rasp of the regulator
As you take your first breath
Cold water rushes under the suit
Chilling your skin
The tang of salt on each breath
And the glittering surface
Now far over head
Another world away

Prompt: Write a poem of the five senses. I love scuba diving but I haven't done it in SOOOOOOOOO long. The problem is I'm a warm water diver. I can dive in a drysuit but I much prefer using a wetsuit and unfortunately, where I live (the UK) unless I'm in a pool it has to be a drysuit unless I want to freeze to death... Literally. I could dive on holiday but because it would only be once a year I would have to take a refresher course each year before I dove. I kind of miss it actually, it's something that I really love doing. Oh well, I'll just have to move somewhere warmer.

Oops

I'd apologise until I'm blue in the face
If I thought it would make any difference
I'd wish that everything was back the way it was
Before
If it would help


But the chance has passed
And with it, hope
They say that time heals all wounds
But what if the thing you've lost
Is time?


Aaaaaaargh! I missed a day!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! To make up for it the poem above is an extra one, on to today's:

Don't Stop

Half a league, half a league,
And then, a little further
Don't stop
Not for thought or breath
Surrounded by the screams of dying men
And horses
Not for the hope of reprieve
The knowledge of mistakes made
Both past and present
Don't stop
Don't stop.

Prompt: Write a poem with the first line lifted from another poem. The first line is from Tennyson's Charge Of The Light Brigade, which is one of my favourite poems.

Travel

Travel through the forest of your mind

Where constant thought has dug a well worn path

Or peek between the trees to find the new

And dangerous

Castles built from wispy air and cotton

Darker corners hiding fear and pain

Ideas all

Ready for the chance

To be brought alive

Green

Light filtered through the canopy
On the long walks we used to take


The lizard we watched, entranced
Running across the wall


The stone in the pendant you gave me
For my birthday


Surprising hue of the ocean
As we sat that night, entwined together


Colour of the monsters eyes
That takes me over when I see you now

Prompt: Write a poem in which everything is that colour.

I really, really want a tail, and wings. I don't know why but I wish (maybe crave is a better word for the feeling) that I had a tail and wings. Actually, the wings are an easy one, I wish I could fly. It's funny because I don't like flying in a plane but I would love to have my own wings. Proper feathery one's, of course...and they would also keep me warm at work, it's freaking cold there! As for the tail (a long bushy one, like a cat's, slightly prehensile so I could wrap it around my leg if I needed to get it out of the way) I have no idea. Maybe I secretly want to be a catgirl. I did have this dream once where I was a green and black striped catburgler catgirl called The Jester, it was cool. You probably all think I'm really weird now, but I don't care.

While we're on the subject I also wish I had a dragon or firelizard or a dæmon. Mostly for the company.

Glass and Clockwork

A fragile existence

Of glass and clockwork

Small wheels keep spinning

Spinning

In a cage at once both

Frighteningly crowded

And surprisingly open

Intricate

Gears and cogs

That can move mountains

Can't talk, watching Crash Course.

Seeking

Time flees 
And night finds me abandoned
Alone without the sun to find my way
Left searching for distraction
A warm body
A spark of life
Dance with me?


It's never lasted
But I'll take the chance
If you do

Prompt: Write a poem inspiried by the song that was number one on the day you were born. For me, that was "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" by Whitney Houston.

Someone guy came in to work today wearing a made of awesome Minecraft t-shirt. It was a periodic table but with Minecraft blocks in it. It was kind of an "Oh my god! There are other Minecraft players in the real world!" moment. Pretty awesome. Left me wondering, as I wouldn't want a t-shirt, if I could get a pickaxe pin or something. That would be cool.

The Wind Blows

The wind blows
Rattling roofs and bending branches
Sweeping a swathe of snow before it
Trees and people both are moved by the attack
And drenched in moments by the frosty deluge


Last week we bathed in the sun
Today we get soaked by a biting blizzard
Stay inside, wrap up
This is not a day to go out.

An accurate description of yesterday's weather I think.

In other news, I worry about mind readers. You know how they say that guys think about sex every seven seconds? Well my mind is probably comparable. So I worry about mind readers...

Play Again The Card Of Fate

Play again the card of fate
Watch again the face it shows
And try to change it
Play again the card of fate
Reject the path that it displays
Forge your own route through
Play again the card of fate
Watch again the face it shows

Prompt: Write a triolet.


You would have thought this would be easy. It's only eight lines after all and five of those are repeated but finding a lines to repeat that sound right was hard, and then I had to find lines for in between them.


I have realised that I should probably not add commentary for the poem because 1) it's boring, (I find it boring and I'm the one who wrote it) and 2) it'll just be about how hard I found writing the above poem. Instead, why not go check out Penguin Prison, a group I just found out about today. Kinda synth poppy music. Pretty cool.

Carpe Diem

As rising sun above horizon peeks
And rosy glow the countryside enfolds
Small birds awake to pour songs from their beaks
And flowers bloom, their colours bright and bold


Woodland creatures scamper 'cross the lawn
The sky a growing shade of peacock blue
A brand new day is herald by the dawn
The promise fresh and clear as morning dew


Carpe diem! Take life by the helm!
Who knows what could be found, or yet thought of
The last grand treasures of forgotten realms
Excitement and adventure, hope, or love!


But with vile poisons pounding in my head
Screw 'seize the day', I'll seize some sleep instead.

Prompt: Write a “carpe diem” poem.


Simple enough. I thought and then realised I had no idea how I was going to go about this. The last line was the first to form itself to my questing mind and I seized upon it as a blessing and a starting block. I decided on a sonnet as I am quite fond of the 'twist' at the end and it meant I could write an almost sardonic poem about seizing the day, especially if you don't feel like it.

Blank Slate

National Poetry Writing Month
And this time I'm here on day one
With the road stretching clear
And inviting
In front of me
And my creative fingers flexing
To the task.

A small simple poem to get me started.

Welcome To April!

Today is April 1st and the first day of NaPoWriMo! Welcome to all those new poets just feeling their way into this wondrous world!

Today's poem will be uploaded later, after work.

Writing Is HARD!

OK, so maybe not the writing itself. I took part in NaNoWriMo this year and managed to write 52,175 words in thirty days. I was very pleased with myself, with good reason, and decided to take a couple of months away from my novel and come back to edit it later.

It is nearing the end of March now and I am only 11 pages in with about 69 left to go, and that's not including the scenes that must still be added.

Editing is hard. Well, usually I would edit as I wrote and that would not seem as difficult, though it would delay the finishing of the novel somewhat, but since the aim of Nano is to turn off your inner editor and WRITE I now have a 52,000 word novel to edit in one go and it seems like a daunting task.

Unfortunately, until I've finished editing it (for a first draft anyway, then I can hand it to someone else to look at and tell me whats wrong) I don't feel like I can continue any OTHER stories that I'm trying to write at the moment, or start any new ones.

Basically, this sucks.

Let The Sunshine, Let The Sunshine In

French the llama! This weather is awesome! (and, of course, I'm sitting inside typing on my computer...)

Has Summer come early? Seriously! This will probably be the only sun we will actually see all year so I'd better go out and enjoy it while it lasts. Was out yesterday tidying the garden and planting seeds for home grown veggies. They really do taste better than shop bought, it might be a cliche but it's only a cliche because it is TRUE!

Right, I'm going out to enjoy *puts on sunglasses* the sun.
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!

Things I Wish My Mother Never Told Me

I meant to post a blog entry this morning but now I'm glad I did not. This morning I was angry but now I'm more mellow and I'm sure this will be a more reasoned blog rather than a "Blargh! Giant squid of anger!!" one.

Sometimes I really wish I was not living with my parents. And then sometimes I'm really glad of it. I'm nearly 25 and have graduated from university but at the moment there is nothing out there for me. I'm sure this is a common occurrence now and there are a number of graduates still living at home. And sometimes our parents really get on our nerves and "don't understand how hard it is in this economical climate" and I'm sure parents all around the country/world are thinking to themselves "why has my good for nothing son/daughter not moved out yet" and I'm sure that there is something in each sides' argument but, parents, a word of advice. Screaming at your son/daughter that "this is not a hotel and that you are sure they are not actually looking for work and just floating around in a world of their own" is not the best way of managing the situation and will make us, for a while until we both calm down, hate you.

OK, so maybe I am still angry. A little.

Parents,

I assure you we are trying to get a job and we would like to move into our own place almost as much as you would be glad to see us leave but it is hard and you have to give us time. And maybe we are slacking a little in our search but we have been looking for a while and the rejections are getting to us a bit.

Still, we will try to look harder for jobs and widen our criteria if you will get off our backs about it, OK?

And we do love you, really.

This Blog May Contain Traces Of Spoilers

So, I've set up a blog and I'm sitting here wondering what I'm going to do until April starts. I could just leave it empty (save for that first post) until I'm ready for NaPoWriMo but then what's the point of a blog if it just sits there gathering dust (figuratively, of course)?

Then I had an idea. I just went to see The Hunger Games today (a movie adaptation of the first of a series of books by Suzanne Collins) so how about I write about that then?

I can't promise that there will not be any spoilers for anyone who has not seen it or read the books but I will try.


First off, I would seriously urge you to read the books as they are awesome (fact ;P).


The Hunger Games is set in a dystopian future where North America is split into 12 districts. In punishment for a rebellion that happened years ago and to keep the districts downtrodden, every year each district is forced to send one boy and one girl to participate in the Hunger Games as "tributes". Only one ever makes it out. This is the 74th annual hunger games and Katniss' younger sister, Primrose, is chosen as the female tribute from District 12. Katniss volunteers herself to save her sister's life.


Whenever I watch a movie that was once a book I am always saying to myself "that's different", "that didn't happen in the book", etc and for that reason I cannot watch the Harry Potter films (I think I made it up to the third one and gave up) but I enjoyed this film. Of course, there were nits to pick but that will always happen in an adaptation. You just can't fit everything into a moderate length film without cutting some things, otherwise you would be sitting in the cinema all day! I felt this adaptation was well handled and even those that have not read the books could still enjoy it (unless they are the film critic in the Scotsman it seems...).


Some points that I feel could have been done better:

• President Snow should have looked more evil. Full white beard? Seriously? He looked like someone's uncle or grandad.
• More of the Valley song would have been nice but it's not a deal breaker.
• More of Rue's story. As an important character in Katniss' story we had to get more idea of her as a person and I just don't think that came across very well in this film.
• Too much shaky cam: See things done well, below.
• Slightly slow in places, may have been because I knew what was going to happen as have read books.

Things done well:

• When the hunger games begin the use of the shaky, handheld cam was an excellent way to show the frantic pace of the beginning but seemed over used later on.
• Peeta's first interview. 
• Fire forest scene.
• Control room. Excellent add on from the books.

Of course there are more things that I could add to these lists (especially the could do better one...) but I feel this is long enough already.

TL:DR? Good film, bit slow in places, would recommend. 4/5.

Let's Get This Show On The Road

Hi there! Oh my gosh I am now officially a blogger! Yay!! (too many exclamation marks...)

So, as it says in my profile I'll be using this blog to post poems for NaPoWriMo. Hopefully with this public space to post them it'll keep me creating every day, unlike last year when I missed days... Fingers crossed anyway! Roll on April!